yes@dartmouth

Today is absolutely beautiful. It's strange how when it's always grey and snowy outside, you forget that it can be clear and golden and warm and peaceful. I'm sitting in Rauner Library (arguably one of the most beautiful study-spots on campus -- glass-encased 5-story stacks? C'mon.) thinking about all of the things I could write about, and wondering why I haven't put any of them down. I suppose it's because this entry was meant to come first.

As I crossed Baker Beach (the grassy clearing in front of the library) this afternoon, scarf in hand, gloves off, the sun warm on my cheeks, I realized I hadn't had a break in as long as I can remember. There have been little things, of course -- nights in or out with friends, meals, performances -- but there's always that looming feeling of more work to be done, meetings to be attended, errands to be run. All of it seems strangely manageable today, from this angle, sitting here under a desk lamp, its light miniscule and inconsequential against the streaming glare of the French windows along the walls. Perhaps, I think, I can do it, perhaps all of this work will be done, and I won't be, as my parents loved to say, playing catch-up.

Perhaps one of the most difficult things to do here is to say no; no, I have to study; no, I have to wake up early; no, I need time to myself. 'Yes' seems the most obvious answer -- we live in a community built on and fostered by yes's: big, loud, booming yes's that give way to groups forming, friendships growing, trips taken, memories made. But in this ever-yesing world, does anything really get done to its fullest? Do we devote enough time, enough care to each thing that we sincerely follow through on our 'yes', rather than just completing it as quickly as possible to move on to another affirmation?

Yes, I'm going to study tonight. Yes, I'm going to go to meetings. Yes, I'm going to go to a party. Yes, I am able to because I believe I am able to, because I'm surrounded by people who believe in themselves and in each other, in each other's capabilities, and thus hold each other to incredibly high standards. But a 'no', every once and a while, for your own good, makes the yes's all the more meaningful.